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Thursday, April 25, 2013

Tired Always Follows Sick

I am sick and tired this month. Tired always follows sick as the brilliant Bill Cosby reminded us. April has been tough and nearly overwhelming for me. The Boston Marathon Bombing Terrorist attacks followed by the tragedy in the town of West, Texas. I despair every time I hear another parent claim their grown child is as innocent as a white dove. I had parents of convicted murderers tell me that all the time when I was a Director of Nursing for the Georgia Department of Corrections. 

We all are in potential what every criminal is in actuality. I learned that there is a thin fine line between criminals and us. I hear you shouting in protest "But I have the sweetest child." I am sure you do. Please, please, parents never claim your children can do no wrong. Hold them accountable for their mistakes. It may be the greatest gift you give to them.

If you think this blog shallow or too focused on all things pretty just know that I have spent far too much time, working as an RN in challenging locations, and need this pretty refuge. I seek the solitude of gardening and making our home comfortable for a reason. If you have not read my Hold Everything Lightly Series at the top of the page you might want to consider it.

Our daughter, CC, has a dear friend whose mother died, last night, at age 52, of breast cancer. She was surrounded by her husband and children. We know she is no longer suffering and is with Her Lord. CC is hurting and is away at college and unable to comfort her friend. Here again April has been a difficult road to travel.

Hug Someone You Love Today


  1. All of this has brought back awful memories of the OKC bombing. It's awful to relive things like that and know how many people are hurting. I agree wholeheartedly with you about making your children be responsible for their actions. My motto has always been "Today's actions determine tomorrow's consequences". And it is so true.

    Thankfully, April is almost over.


  2. Let's all hope for a more perfect month of May. xox

  3. Oh dear Olive - I am sorry to read this post today. I pray that you will feel brighter soon. Such terrible things happening in our world. Another blogging friend has just lost her sister in law at aged 49. I feel for CC. It is only natural that she wants to comfort her good friend. It's too young for these ladies to be taken. My granddaughter's Godmother is in the hospice at the moment with terminal cancer, aged 42. She has a beautiful three year old daughter. It makes one weep. Such wise advice you gave to parents today about their children. I see the parents of the Boston bombers are refusing to believe They are guilty. Sending blessings yourway

  4. So sorry about the mother at age 52 who died, entirely to young
    to leave your family
    My brother in law at age 39 died ,heart attach 2 years
    ago and my sister is just now able to leave the house and go
    out in public
    Lot of sadness in our lives, my sister said the Catholics call this redemptive suffering?
    Her new faith is all that has helped her out of her suffering

    Life is Good and sometimes Very hard

  5. And you hug someone, too. And call CC before she goes to bed.

  6. So sorry about CC's friend. Prayer for her family.

    We've always said one of our sons will either grow up to be an actor, politician, or criminal. They are all three very closely related!

    Hugs to you - April showers bring May flowers!

  7. i must say i have been running to the bloggy world for comfort from the world. it has become such a scary, sad, unsure, & unknown world. so very confusing for me. i walk in faith. but i wish i had knowledge or understanding as to why things such as this continue to happen? it really makes no sense at all. ( :

    praying for this loss of CC's friend. i know that is tough. may she find peace at this time.

  8. I know how you feel...I escape through my blog as well...I don't often write about the serious things that go on in life...I need a place to just think sorry for CC to be away from her friend in her time of need...that's hard. Take care my friend and I hope things will look up for you ...and the rest of us!!

  9. Olive, thank you for your blog posts, I love reading every one and find, like a lot of your readers, this wonderful bond with you and what you're saying. April has been tough, in fact I think life has got increasingly harder since the Millenium and certainly since 9/11. Your garden is beautiful and your pictures lift my spirits too. So sorry to hear of the untimely death of CC's friend's mother, my thoughts and prayers go out to them all xxx

  10. Well, I just poured my heart out into a comment to you that just went into the ether! But amen, Olive! I feel better now. Blessings to your CC. It's so hard to feel loved ones suffer from afar. Your homey blog is a refuge to many.

  11. Dear Olive, this is a beautifully written post...I feel similarly about this month..many challenges and changes...I am sorry for CC..again I am reminded that life is precious....always enjoyed reading your series.
    HUGS and more HUGS, Love, Mona

  12. So true. So sorry about our friend, truly everyday is THE day to love and appreciate each other!

  13. We live in a fallen world, and are reaping the harvest - in the bombings, the abortions, the lack of respect for life in general. It seems that the intensity and frequency of the horrors and indifference are increasing dramatically.

    But we can pray. We can pray for God's mercy and that He will help us be a light in this dark world, help us reclaim life and beauty and joy.

    May your daughter be a comfort and a light in this family's life.

  14. Dearest Olive:
    I can so identify with your post. Was just thinking today I am so weary of lowering the flags, moments of silence, etc. So much evil happening.
    And, I feel I can identify with the 'my child can do no wrong' statement: I was a principal in a very, very inner city school. The vast majority of my kids were wonderful; sadly, though, we had a small percentage who were in trouble time after time after time. And I heard that from their mothers, grannies, and aunties every time. Again, sadly, even now that I'm retired I see their names cropping up in the paper more than I like.
    We can't change the environment (so wish we could), but you DID work to change circumstances. God bless you!

  15. I love this post. Your place of refuge makes me want to escape too. Having worked with teenagers for 30 years, Parents are always defensive when it comes to their children. My children's principal was a great man and his motto was, "It takes a village to raise a child." It does in this world in which we live because parents no longer take responsibility for raising their own. They expect the church, the school, the community to do it. Sad. Many kids get lost in the shuffle. Sad for the kids. So many lost souls out there. I can't help but identify with the parents and the kids who get it all wrong. Definitely not justifying for has happened or condoning. I am outraged, but somewhere along the line, someone failed to care, failed to notice and failed to instruct in the right way. Just so sad.

  16. Olive, so sorry about the mother of CC's friend. 52 is too young to die, as were all those who lost lives at the hands of those young men in Boston, and the dead in Texas. It's hard to be positive when there is so much sadness and evil lurking, it seems, everywhere. I just listened to the Boston Bombers' mother defending them and claiming they were set up and are victims themselves. While I understand her reaction if it were an initial reaction, but surely by now she has seen the evidence and heard of her younger son's confession.

    In spite of all the horrible, sad, news, I believe in the goodness of the human race. It is evidenced in the kind sorrow of your daughter, CC in reaction to the news of her friend's mother's death. It is in the hearts of those who ran towards the blast area and helped those who were injured. It is in those brave firefighters in Texas who tried to fight the initial blaze and became victims, but heros nevertheless. I see it in the parent's of Sandy Hook's fallen children and in the father of the Sandy Hook Shooter who took ownership of his son's actions. I see it everyday in many people such as yourself, Olive who put their heart on the line through their blogs in their personal stories. I have never thought of your blog as fluff, but as a refuge and a lovely place to visit. Thank you. Ann

  17. Olive, I do no think you blog is shallow or focused on all things pretty at all. I have read your "Hold Everything Lightly" series and know what you have gone through. We all need a place for solitude and if it's a beautiful garden and home so much the better.
    I'll say a prayer for CC and her friend in the loss of her mother.
    I hope and pray May will be a better month for all of us.
    Hugs, Barb

  18. I started following you because of your 'Hold Everything Lightly' series so it has never occurred to me to consider anything you focus on as shallow or indicating that you haven't seen the harsh side of life. If we don't show all the beautiful and wonderful things in life, we are making the bad things seem if they are all there is left in the world. Perhaps, each one of us who strives to make daily living beautiful somehow counteracts those who try to make it full of darkness and hatred. I like to come here, as a friend who is having tea in your garden, while the dog snuffles in the grass!

  19. Wise, wise words.. it is only by the grace of God that I am not so much worse than I am. Like you , my heart breaks at the cruelty of the world in which we live. And also like you, I find solace in my quiet spaces - home and garden. Enjoy your quiet spaces today!

  20. Olive, We pray our children will always be good. I used to pray, keep my safe at school, after hearing of school shootings. Then after hearing what bullying does to kids, I pray ,keep my safe at school, and never let them hurt anyone else. You have to cover both sides of that fence with prayer. What pushes a person over the edge...I think it could be different for all of us. I am certainly not condonning the Boston bombers...I do feel that the older one may have influenced the younger...but then the younger chose to follow..thus, two young men whose mother thought them innocents proved to be evil. She needs to accept it. She will still love her own.
    I love all the flowers and prettiness of everyone's blog...all the nasty stuff efffects us all in ways...but we need uplifting with God's beauty.xoxo,Susie

  21. Yes, dear Olive, this has been a hard month for a lot of us and for our nation. I feel the same way as blog is a safe place to get away.
    I try to keep mine light as I can...there's enuf BAD NEWS going on all around us.

  22. There is so much heartache in the world around us. What a wonderful and beautiful retreat you have created to get restored and refreshed to face each day as it comes!
    Mary Alice


  23. It does seem that this month has had a lot of tragedies, doesn't it? So sorry about your daughters friends mother. She was so young! I guess all of these situations teach us to not take life for granted.

  24. Oh, I am so sorry about CC's friend's mother. That is so sad for that young girl to have lost her mom so soon. I agree that April has been a stupid month. Reminds me of September a few years ago. You just want the stupid month to end. On a side note, I love your potato vines. I need to get some more this year.

  25. I know what you mean about parents who swear their children are innocent and sweet - just a little active or fun-loving.

    Poor CC. It is hard to be far from those you want to comfort...

    Hugs to you Olive.


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