The Olive Drops

So I took some prostate medicine for my kidney stone. Dr. Cutie Pie prescribed it to facilitate the dilating of my ureter. For the record I do not now nor have ever had a prostate. Regardless. The drug information attached to the sample states: may cause a sudden drop in blood pressure, especially when you start treatment. This may lead to fainting, dizziness, or lightheadedness. The warnings go on to discuss postural hypotension. It can occur with or without warning. I am now officially the Premenopausal Poster Woman for Postural Hypotension. Which is a fancy way of saying your blood pressure falls real fast when you stand. Real fast. The smooth muscles of the bladder and ureter should relax it says. Maybe I'll relax I thought. If only.

And then after two doses, just two...... Friday night and Saturday night.


I got up early on Sunday. I did not sleep well or long. I walked with the Cat into the kitchen and got him some milk. Rotten Cat. Then I realized I was bleeding. A lot. The stone was moving? My uterus was falling out? Which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. I woke Joe and got in the shower. I told Joe I felt faint. I lost my vision first. He eased me to the tub floor. I only hit the faucet with my back. I am glad I could not see myself naked, bleeding, and unconscious in the sparkling clean tub. Not pretty at all I am sure.


That was a lot of drama for seven am. I woke wrapped in towels. Befuddled at best. I was trembling and very cold. Joe was spectacular. Always. I did not go to the doctor or the E.R. as I know exactly what they would do. Rotten Nurse. I henceforth swear off all prostate meds. Except for the five brain cells I fried I am a little frazzled but fine.

Olive Out

We Are All Mad Here

"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.

"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat, " we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad"

"How do you know I'm mad?" asked Alice.

"You must be." said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

The Cheshire Cat rightfully says we are all mad here. This whole dialogue brings me to appreciate Alice in Wonderland immensely. I myself am feeling rather mad today. Trying to pass a 4mm stone through a 2mm opening. Defying the laws of physics. That's me. Not that I am brave. No bravery here. Would rather be doing eleventy thousand other things.

Dr. Cutie Pie, he is oh so handsome, says there is a fifty fifty chance I can pass this pebble. All the carnage being wrought by it is a "good sign". I was afraid to inquire about bad signs. Did I type pebble? In my narcotic-crazed mind rock is a more appro noun. The madness of the pain is difficult to describe. Passing shards of old Coca Cola bottles is close but not quite. The Cat nailed it for we all all mad here.

Olive Out

Seven Things I'm Doing Today

Today I am doing the following:

1. Roasting chicken. I might make chicken chilli later dude.

2. Doing laundry. Yucko.

3. Passing copious amounts of blood in my urine.

4. Finally passing a kidney stone?

5. Taking prescription drugs. Not enough for a stone to be sure.

6. Drinking diet green tea tangerine, who knew that existed?

7. Not going to the ER. Am not.

Olive Out

Keyless, Carless, and Braless?

I ended up at our little yellow house without my keys or my car. I found my bra after it had been missing for two days. On Thursday last I was at The Beauty Junction. Getting some help in the beauty department. I had an ache in my back that spread and pretty much exploded. In nurse speak I had a "syncopial episode". I nearly fainted from the pain. I layed on the massage table and disrobed a bit. An intense feeling of warmth always precedes actual fainting. Then the nausea arrived. Oh Joy. Not. Joe was called. Everyone at the beauty shop took wonderful care of me. I managed to pay my bill and send my car out to be washed! That's how I lost my car and keys. Joe arrived and whisked me away. I threw up in his truck. I was so sorry. Joe loves me so he didn't care at all. He cleaned it up while I was in the house still being violently sick. We went to the ER. No, not the one five minutes away. We drove seventy miles to another ER because we are NUTS! That is where my bra got shoved in my purse not to be found for two days while I recovered at the yellow house. Friday morning found me braless, keyless and carless in a drug-induced fog. Stoned from the kidney stones.

Olive Out